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Mishaps of a Salesman

By Jacqueline Drew
START Marketing Inc.
www.startmarketing.com

I recently sat in on a sales seminar called something like “Cold Calling for Total Chickens” and listened politely while the workshop's sales guru clucked on about all the reasons why we should do sales, and we should boldly face our fears, and that none of us really has anything to be afraid of.  

Of course, it made me wonder if she'd ever been a salesperson.  So I thought I'd provide my own insight into sales, so you'll at least know some of the worst mistakes you can make. And if these 18 little mishaps don't scare you, then go ahead and get on that telephone!   

1. You're late because you have to go to the far off parkade, because you don't have cash for the meter. Then you're late again because you don't have cash to get out of the parkade.
2. You lose the deal when the client launches into a talk about religious affiliations, and you join him.
3. You Chew gum. Fast and hard.
4. Your cell phone rings during a sales meeting. You take the call. You leave the room. You don't come back.
5. You call the next day to reschedule.
6. You start the meeting by asking “so...what is it you guys do here?”
7. You're late because even though you remembered cash for the parking, you forgot where you put the car!
8. You forget your day planner at the client's office. It is full of notes about what you really think of him.
9. You lose the deal when the client asks are you single? When you says no, he asks, but are you available?
10. The client is too busy to talk but promises to call you back tomorrow. He does. Then there's a long pause, and you say - and what company were you with?   
11. You get his voicemail. You hang up.  You get his voicemail. You hang up. 
12. A real live person actually answers the phone, and you're so freaked out you totally forget who you were calling.
13. You tell him you've already met 5 of his competitors. And they were all too stupid to buy.
14. You're on straight commission. He finds out.
15. You just lost your number one account. He finds out.
16. You're off your quota and year end is next week. He finds out.
17. You have far better, bigger clients, and more business than you can manage. He finds out, but doesn't care.
18. He knows your mom and / or dad, and oh, aren't you cute! Enough said.